SO WHY DO WE HAVE BOARDS OF DIRECTORS????

‘Spider Network’, David Enrich’s evocative book reviewed here, tells the story of Britain’s Libor banking scandal, revealing a financial culture in which success is defined by the outcome of the next trade.

This important book is a must read for every board director. Boards who claim they were not aware of wrongdoings are in essence admitting their incompetence. Last week, Loblaw Companies Ltd. Canada’s largest retailer admitted to bread price fixing, which according to their CEO has been going on without the knowledge of senior management for fourteen years. So if senior management was not aware of this ‘arrangement’, as this fraud was called by the namby pamby Globe and Mail (see my letter to the editor here), it is safe to assume that the directors were not aware either.

So why do we have boards of directors again???

Andrew Faas (former senior executive with the Weston/Loblaw/Shoppers Group; author of ‘From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire’,; and a Public Voices Fellow at Yale University).

Photo credit: wikimedia

SHARING MY MOTHER’S LEGACY

In this eulogy, which I gave for my mother, I indicate how blessed my brothers and I were to have had Mom as our moral compass. As a holiday gift to you, I want to share with you what she taught us.

On behalf of my four brothers, thank you for being here today and for the support you and many others have given to Mom on her long journey home. 

Many have expressed their sympathies and condolences, which while we very much appreciate, our emotions are ones of joy and celebration in sharing with her the natural wonder of a full cycle of life, passing on to the next, with the same grit, grace, class and dignity she lived by. 

Wilma’s natural passing is in such stark contrast to those who perished a week ago during the massacre in Texas, which was horribly tragic and unnatural, and our sympathies and condolences go to their families, friends and the community of Sutherland Springs. 

Wilhelmina Herberdena Cornelias Visser Faas lived a remarkable life filled with a combination of jubilations and tragedies. The tragedies started a few days after her birth in 1919 with the passing of her mother, two aunts and an uncle, for whom she is named, from the Spanish Flu epidemic. 

Then losing her first son, Jacob, due to malnutrition in the womb when he was ten months old in 1945 just after the liberation in The Netherlands, which was blockaded during the occupation, with most of its citizens surviving on what they could scrounge. 

And then, 45 years ago, losing the love of her life, our Dad Casper, who died suddenly at age 57 from a massive heart attack. 

Despite the tragedies, the jubilations were many and well deserved, culminating with a beautiful peaceful end. But not without a fight, defying what was humanly possible, surviving over ten days without any nourishment or fluids. Wilma loved life; and in much the same manner in which she lived, Wilma was determined to leave this earth, on her terms, surrounded by her family. 

When Dad passed away, our grief was almost inconsolable. With Mom, the joy of having her pass in her 99th year over-compensates the grief we have. 

Rather than go through a chronology of her incredibly interesting life, I will attempt to capture the essence of her being. 

In short - Wilma was one real piece of work. 

I say this not out of disrespect, because she was a character: 

· a bit of a contrarian 

· articulate 

· brutally direct 

· calculating (some could successfully argue a bit manipulative) 

· charming 

· creative 

· curious 

· dramatic 

· elegant 

· eloquent 

· feisty 

· forceful 

· genteel 

· hilariously funny 

· kind 

· loyal 

· mischievous 

· observant 

· persuasive 

· pragmatic 

· protective of others 

· provocative 

· regal 

· resilient 

· resourceful 

· tough as nails 

Those who know Wilma, and who have watched Downton Abbey, can relate when I suggest that Maggie Smith as Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham, is a dead ringer for Mom, in spirit, attitude and appearance. 

Both Violet and Wilma were unique and complex characters; but more importantly, they were Women of Character. Elia Saab must have had Wilma in mind when he wrote: 

“Elegance is a statement, an attitude. Elegant women are women of character with confidence.” Wilma had confidence in spades, confidence because she had a strong sense of self, and rigorously adhered to her interpretation of the aphorism that “Right makes might” - and was she mighty. 

Wilma vigorously defended and promoted what she felt was right, yet her love of debate helped her shift her positions if someone made the more compelling argument. She was a master at drawing people into debate by intentionally taking an extreme or outrageous position on something to bait people into a vigorous discussion. Because she knew what buttons to push, Wilma from time to time took perverse pleasure in pushing them. 

An example of shifting her position was when I told Mom that Lee and I were getting married, which I did with some trepidation. When I did finally tell her, she gave a polite acceptance; the next day she warmed up to it a bit; then on the fourth day she said, “I have been thinking about it quite a bit.” I thought - I bet you have! 

Then she continued, “You know I come from another generation where even being gay was not accepted. And when I grew up, everybody had a family member or friend who was a puff, (that’s the term they used in The Netherlands), and we just didn’t talk about it. Then the war came and we did not even want to dream about it, for fear that someone may overhear. We saw the mentally disabled, the Jews and the gays being taken away. Then she proclaimed - I am so proud of you - you are exercising a legal right; and if people don’t exercise their rights, they could be at risk of losing them.” How prophetic this insight became. 

Since then we had a number of discussions on the need for people to not be bystanders to history, but to become witnesses, protectors, defenders, resistors and activists. In these discussions, she exposed her fear of dying - remorseful because she felt that she could have done so much more during the occupation; even though during this period, she and my dad were active in the underground resistance. 

Her admonition to us was, “don’t die in remorse like me, because there is always more you can and must do to help others.“ 

I tried to convince her not to feel guilty because what she did was very significant, and that she inspired me to the work I do in the area of bullying, abuse and protecting democracy. She should consider this one of her legacies. This gave her some peace. 

Wilma was first and foremost a Mother, and what a Mother she was. No one could accuse her of being a June Cleaver. Perhaps the fact that she lived in a man’s world raising five boys motivated her not to fall into the traditional motherhood trap - a slave to the conventional role of waiting on, cleaning and cooking for men. 

Mom knew what she liked and what she did not. She was a horrible cook because she hated cooking. Thankfully Dad was a good cook, and taught us how to be; otherwise we would have starved. 

We learned early to never ask Mom to sew a button on a shirt - something she was incapable of doing right because she just didn’t like doing the mundane. This was in contrast to what she did like to do - knit, crochet, and needlepoint. Her creations - gowns, sweaters, and sun catchers are legendary. She even had some of her work featured in the Tuck Shop at The Royal York Hotel. 

We remember so well, as infants, the nightly ritual of her getting us ready for bed, we lined up for her to scrub us down; then helping us into our pajamas, all done with the same rigor one experiences at a boot camp; then gently tucked us in, singing us to sleep, with the voice of an angel. 

Mom opened our home to many, in part because she was an extremely social person, but more because she wanted to expose her boys to different people. 

Diversity and inclusion was in her DNA, and she, through experiences, made sure it was in ours. Everyone has their implicit biases. Mom may have come close to being the exception. 

Regardless of status, colour, religion, disability or ethnicity, Mom invited a wide range of people into our lives, in particular those whom she knew would help us understand that what everyone has in common is that we are all human beings who need each other. 

All of our holiday events were shared with others, most of who did not have others to share them with. 

Our friends became her friends, and became part of our extended family. 

An early example of Mom’s empathy to others was, shortly after we immigrated, her befriending Ruth and Fred Parker, whose son Graham had an accident, which left him mentally impaired. Ruth, Fred and Graham immediately became part of our family, and we theirs. 

Mom insisted that we treat Graham the same way we treat each other, reinforcing her position that everyone goes though challenges in life, and the importance of the basic ethic of reciprocity - doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. 

Mom also taught us not to stereotype; for example, not all Germans during World War II were Nazis; reminding us, were it not for a German soldier, we would not have been conceived. Dad was shot on the first day of the occupation, and became a prisoner of war. The soldier guarding the infirmary allowed Dad to escape, indicating he hoped Dad would do the same if their situations were reversed – another reinforcement of the ethic of reciprocity. 

Mom’s curiosity was infectious. She became a lifelong learner. Even after losing much of her sight, she, through the CNIB audio book program, continued to devour at least three books a week, covering every conceivable topic. I remember just a few years ago she wanted to engage in a discussion about general relativity, after finishing Stephen Hawking’s ‘A Brief History of Time’. All I could add to that discussion was, Huh??? 

Being an active listener, Mom was able to keep up with current events and some juicy gossip. Her hearing impairment late in life was suspect. Just when whispering something we did not want her to hear, she would chime in with a “What you say?” 

Children and young people adored Mom; and she adored them. To all of our cousins, Mom was the favourite aunt, calling her Tanta Mien - spelt MIEN not MEAN, as it is a short form for Wilhelmina. If you have not done so already, I encourage you to view the wonderful collection of photos that Julie put together; and the pictures with infants and young people capture the mutual adoration they had for each other. 

Mom, like she did with us, talked to them as adults, more to solicit a meaningful discussion with them. As a fabulous storyteller, she loved relating her wit and wisdom, coupling a serious message with humour. 

As Wilma was an unconventional Mother, she was an unconventional Grandmother to Matt, Mike, Catherine (finally a girl) and Eric, and Great Grandmother to Brook, Logan and Aldon. The grandchildren loved going to Grama Wilma’s after school for their caffeine fix, which was concurrent with her cocktail hour, which she taught them how to make - a stiff shot of gin with no ice and just a splash of ginger ale. 

Although Mom shied away from mundane domestic activities, through the work she did, taught us the value of hard work. For years she broke records in the number of baskets of tomatoes she picked. 

For a couple of decades, every infant born at the Chatham Kent Health Alliance received a multi-coloured blanket knitted by mom, one of her many ways of giving back. 

Mom sought out other mothers who lost a child, knowing that only a parent who experienced the same thing could relate to this. 

As an early pioneer in palliative care, Mom helped so many in their final days and hours. 

Mom was determined to live an independent life. We recall so well driving her to old age homes (as they were called then), insisting rather than waiting in the car, we join her to visit with the residents, adding great richness to our lives. 

Now this was no doubt noble on her part; but there was also an ulterior motive, as we had to promise never to put her in a home - something we were able to deliver on until just five months ago. 

Just shy of her ninety-ninth year, Mom moved to Fairfield Park in Wallaceburg. Fairfield is rightly recognized as the top such facility in Southwestern Ontario. It is truly a home where Mom received the genuine love, affection and care of everyone who worked there. She and we are so blessed for what they did. 

Mom always saw the humour in life, and her stories could fill a book. Even on the day she died there was humour. While I was on my shift in our 24/7 vigil, a fellow resident, whom I will call Mel, stood at the doorway of her room. I invited him to come in because I thought he wanted to see her. 

It turned out that he really came to check out her room because he wanted to transfer from a shared space. 

The staff were absolutely appalled, and told him in no uncertain terms how inappropriate this was. 

Well, didn’t he come back to ask if he could measure the room. Struggling with the tape measure, I ended up doing it for him. As he left, he asked how long I felt Mom had. 

On leaving the home, the head nurse on duty asked if there was anything more they could do for us. I responded by saying we could not think of anything other than letting Mel know his new room was available. 

Our Father who art in heaven 

Hallowed be thy name. 

Thy Kingdom come, 

Thy will be done on earth as it is heaven. 

Give us this day our daily bread. 

And forgive us those who trespass against us. 

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. 

Amen 

Mom sang this prayer almost every day at lunch; and we sang it along with her. I sang it to her shortly before she died and her eyes welled. 

Mom we all love you and we will miss you terribly - even though you were a horrible cook.

HEIL TRUMP!

A fool’s paradise is the best way to label the Rose Garden celebrations of Trump, and other top Republican lawmakers, after miraculously enacting what will undoubtedly be dubbed the worst tax bill in history.

This is like the sickening cabinet meeting a few months ago. The scary thing is they may be truly genuine, but my bet is they are all scared shitless that unless they pay this kind of homage to the Fuhrer, he will seek revenge.

Mike Pence’s performance went even beyond nauseating. In a Cabinet meeting, Pence praised Trump once every 12 seconds for three minutes straight. Clearly he has pledged subservience to a man who is unworthy of respect. But he is not alone!

The self-serving kowtowing to the ‘leader’ shows a desperation exhibited by the leaders of the Republican Party that conjures up the image of rats abandoning a sinking ship. They walk the gangplank of greed on steroids and blind hope, in an effort to save their butts during the next election. Michelle Goldberg’s New York Time’s Op-Ed column spells out how this unflagging and frankly dangerous adulation may simply be a reflection of a pathetic handful of puppets.

Roger Cohen describes, in his New York Times Op-Ed column, the disintegration of American values set against the backdrop of Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem “If”. It’s time for all of us to take a sober look at exactly what tatters of America we have left.

For a chilling look at the similarities between Hitler in 1934 and Trump in 2017, one can look at Wessam Ahmed’s article in Quora for five parallels.

In The Washington Post, Ishaan Tharoor’s analysis of Trump as a leader during his first year holding any public office shows the depths and heights of power mongering, which has become normal in the Oval Office. It is indeed a very scary state of affairs when Trump’s base of support, albeit 32% of voters, would likely stand up and pledge Heil Trump unless a substantive move by the voice of reason appears.

Photo credit: YouTube

MAY HE ROT IN HELL

Cardinal Bernard F. Law is dead. Robert D. McFadden’s New York Times’ obituary describes why there is a special place in hell for this man. He gained great notoriety in 2002 when his stature as Archbishop of Boston and America’s senior Roman Catholic prelate was shattered by revelations that he had protected child molesters for years.

Although, as I wrote in a blog, Law is certainly not alone in this deplorable behaviour within the Catholic Church, he was the first of many dominos to fall. The Pope spoke of committees to safeguard children, tribunals to try bishops and a “zero tolerance” policy for offending priests. It hasn’t quite worked out that way, as evidenced in this elucidating New York Times article by Jason Horowitz and Laurie Goodstein, showing that Pope Francis himself has a blind spot. The bottom line is that the Catholic Church does not have the moral authority to be weighing in on anything.

Amy B Wang unravels in this Washington Post article just how Law’s potentially glowing civil rights legacy fell into tatters. Frankly, giving this guy a Vatican funeral is like giving Donald Trump the Noble Peace Prize.

In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I discuss the disjointed culture within which the Catholic Church lives, and why it must change.

Photo credit: pxhere

Bystanders Must Feel Safe When Stepping Forward

Trying to change corporate culture using traditional methods, away from that of toxic and illegal sexual harassment and abuse, has been tried before and failed. But innovative ideas like showing bystanders how to intervene, as well as promoting more women have proved effective.  In her New York Times article, Claire Cain Miller explains this dynamic and offers some solid suggestions. Elizabeth Svoboda suggests seven ways to finally put an end to this behaviour in her Washington Post feature.

I have been trying to advance this approach for years. This will only work if the boss sets the example, first by actively participating, by also being trained and dealing swiftly with any wrongdoing that is identified.

Bystanders must feel absolutely safe and free of retaliation in becoming resistors, protectors and defenders of those targeted. In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I devote a chapter to the bystander and offer advice on what they can do while feeling safe.

Photo credit: Wikimedia

The Reckoning Ball

These essays, which appeared in The New York Times Magazine, articulate the realities of workplace dynamics. Directors and boards should take serious note. A Mental Health America / Faas Foundation survey of 17,000 workers in North America called ‘Mind the Workplace’ revealed that 70 percent of workers do not speak well of their organization.

Based on research I have done for my books and articles, I assert that power and control cultures, which beget wrongdoing and abuse is the primary reason for this. Yes a revolution is necessary, which is why the Faas Foundation partnered with Yale University on a major initiative called ‘Emotion Revolution in the Workplace’ to help organizations create psychologically safe, fair and emotionally intelligent workplaces. 

Photo credit: Wikimedia

WHEN DISOBEDIENCE IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO

When immense power is in erratic hands, the readiness of subordinates to disobey becomes critical. Even a dog knows that. In a riveting article by Roger Cohen in The New York Times, we realize that being disobedient is the right thing to do in certain situations. Fortunately for us, Air Force General John Hyten asserts that he would not obey an illegal order from the Commander-in-Chief.

My bet is the directors of all of the organizations, where wrongdoing, including abuse and harassment are part of the culture, are regretting the absence of disobedience. I have written about the importance of bystanders becoming witnesses, activists, resistors, protectors, and defenders of injustice. Many years of working in the corporate world, focusing on creating psychologically safe, fair and emotionally intelligent cultures, has given me the life experience necessary to be a credible expert in handling the injustice, harassment and abuse that occupy much of the news headlines today. In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I provide insights and a method to safely stand up for what is right.

We are all endowed with the ability to know the difference between right and wrong. What we must do now is to stand up against a force not seen since World War II.

Photo credit: thebluediamondgallery.com

#MeToo - SOME WORDS OF CAUTION

Time Magazine has named “the Silence Breakers” - the women who came forward to divulge their experiences with sexual abuse - as their Person of the Year; The New York Times discusses how their reporters and Ashley Judd continue this national debate about sexual harassment in the workplace; and The Washington Post describes how Senator Kirsten Gillibrand is carrying the banner for sexual misconduct within government. And, there can be no question that the #MeToo movement is raising the level of awareness and outrage on sexual harassment and abuse. As a result, this has become a very public debate now. While this is a massive force exhibiting very positive action, we must be clear that there are also some very significant dangers to cautious about. 

I have conducted extensive research on workplace dynamics and, through my career, handled numerous incidents of sexual harassment. Therefore, I feel I can speak with some degree of authority on the topic.

My purpose in writing this is not to discourage exposure, but rather to provide some observations for people to better understand the implications of outing sexual predators. I want to encourage the #MeToo movement as a credible force - effective, proportionally more focused on the future - and not to simply be seen as a method by which people can seek revenge.

Here are my observations:

. Not to diminish sexual harassment and abuse, but it should not overshadow the much bigger issue of bullying, harassment and abuse in the workplace. According to a Harvard/Stanford study, over 120,000 deaths annually may be attributable to workplace stress; and according to a recent Mental Health America survey, much of the stress is unnecessary. I have found that where sexual abuse and harassment occurs, usually the workplace culture is toxic and other wrongdoings are condoned. Uber has illustrated this in spades. But in general, the IT industry in Silicon Valley, where, as I have discussed in a blog, the harassment and abuse is mostly culturally driven, with few ground rules and parameters on behaviors. Note also that people beyond the victims of the abuse are targeted when, for example, bystanders are forced into complicity under the threat of retaliation if they expose the situation. 

. Distinctions must be made between what constitutes sexual harassment and sexual abuse. The allegations that are being made range from rape to flirtation, and should be identified and dealt with as such. We cannot and must not abandon the fundamental principles of ‘innocent until proven guilty’, ‘punishment fitting the crime’, and ‘due process’. The #MeToo movement and the media must not become the judge, jury and executor. 

. Most of the allegations have focused on the entertainment industry and the media. It should not be assumed that this issue is not a problem in other sectors. In the research I have done for my books, blog posts and articles on the topic, it is of epidemic proportions in all sectors. 

. What did they know, and when did they know it? Most of the situations that have recently been exposed, and most of the many situations I have been involved with have been open secrets; and the abuse has been going on for extended periods of time, even decades. Boards and bosses who claim ignorance either don’t know what’s going on in their organizations, or they are lying. There is no question that predators should be penalized; however, the bigger issue is complicity, where for a variety of reasons, predators are allowed to abuse. I suggest that boards, bosses and human resource people who failed to stop the abuse should be penalized even more severely than the predators. I have often asserted that while there is no question that the predators are the villains, because there was no intervention, the predators may also have become the victims. Employers at the first whiff of bad behaviour should nip it in the bud.

. Bullies and sexual predators have an uncanny ability to entrap their targets, turning the victim into the villain. In exposing this situation, people must understand that it is an allegation; and most who are accused will do everything they can to discredit the accuser. They will fight back - and with a vengeance.

. Inclusion of women in the workplace could take a serious hit. To avoid the risk of exposure, organizations could be motivated to take the path of least resistance. Diversity may not suffer as much because of legislation and optics, but we should remember, as discussed in this Harvard Business Review article that being diverse does not translate into being inclusive.

. Along the same line, concern about being accused could lead to significant change to workplace dynamics beyond changing the abusive behaviors. Margaret Wente, a feature writer for Canada’s Globe and Mail, articulated this when she wrote, “The post-Weinstein era will be a better place for women. But there will be losses, too. For example, the ordinary, garden-variety banter in the office will be lost. Colleagues will be walking on eggshells, afraid that ordinary gestures of teasing or affection, including all kissing, touching, hugging, flirting and almost all kinds of humanity, might be misconstrued and give offence. Men will no longer meet with women behind closed doors, alone. Casual informality and warmth will be replaced by stiffness, anxiety and prudishness. The world will be a slightly colder place. And that’s too bad.” When Mike Pence revealed that he does not eat alone with a woman other than his wife, he was mocked. My bet is that many men have taken note. 

. False accusations, when validated, have the potential to totally discredit the movement. The Washington Post almost being duped into reporting a false accusation by Project Veritas reinforces the requirement for the media to fact check. 

. In the many situations I have dealt with, a high proportion were a result of a romance between a boss and subordinate soured. Organizations who do not have rules in place for office romances are at huge risk of facing a sexual abuse challenge. For the companies I was responsible for, employees were required to disclose the relationship and where there was a boss to subordinate (direct or indirect) relationship, either the romantic or working relationship needed to be severed. Breach of this rule was grounds for immediate termination for both.

As indicated at the outset, I do not wish for my observations to discourage exposure, but rather have people understand this process of exposure is fraught with implications, the biggest being the #MeToo movement being considered a modern form of McCarthyism.

(Andrew Faas is the author of ‘ From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, and a Public Voices Fellow at Yale University)

"L" is for Loyal

This article is part of the series, A BOOMER’S GUIDE FOR MILLENNIALS; THE A B C’s of LEADERSHIP, I am writing for MoneyInc.

I assert that loyalty is the most precious gift that can be given and received. I also assert that loyalty is the most fragile of characteristics that are outlined in this series of articles. 

A recent New York Times article by Sara Chaplin ‘Is Loyalty a Virtue’ captures the complex nature of loyalty citing “The last two years in American politics have revealed our very different senses of loyalty, from it’s purpose to its objects.” Chapman concludes, “We are seeing with unsettling clarity the limits of fidelity to a person, a faction, and agenda. And we are beginning to search for some better place to direct it.”

Loyalty is a commitment people make to support, defend and protect. Loyalty should be clear-sighted, not blind and be based on a level of trust and respect for those (a person, institution or cause) you bestow it on. 

In whatever relationship, whether it beis family, friend, boss, association, employer, coworker, community, political party, country and place of worship, loyalty is an expectation or a dictate. In all too many cases, the expectation runs counter to our personal values and beliefs; yet it is still expected, and not giving it becomes tantamount to betrayal or treason.

Unfortunately when put in this situation, most have to play along with it. Not doing so could jeopardize the relationship itself, termination of employment, expulsion, or exclusion. If we think in time, not becoming a Nazi in Hitler’s Germany cost not only their lives, but also the lives of their entire families.

More than ever in our lifetime, in almost every aspect of our lives, our loyalties are being tested. We have been witnessing an unprecedented amount of wrongdoing in every segment of our society. The abnormal is becoming the norm, and the demand for blind loyalty, as when Trump made such a request of James Comey, as discussed by Jason Zuckerman in a blog for whistleblower.org, or more specifically becoming complicit, has become a constant in our lives. Consider what the people in the Weinstein Group, Wells Fargo, Uber, Fox Media, the Catholic Church, the Boy Scouts, Volkswagen, etc, etc, etc, have been through. In all of these cases, the wrongdoings were allowed to go on for years, even decades, without challenge.

Companies that use layoffs as a first resort, when short-term results are not met display an overt lack of loyalty. It never ceases to amaze me when I ask organizational leaders what their expectations are of their employees, loyalty is in the top quartile of the list, yet when I reconcile this with their history of layoffs, I find that loyalty may not have been reciprocated. When I question leadership on this, they rationalize it by indicating employees should not expect lifetime job security. My response is, I have been around long enough to understand that, however, what employees should expect is minimizing the negative effect on employees when seeking to reduce costs, and layoffs are a last resort vs. a first.

Last quarter a major Canadian company of 200,000 employees announced the immediate termination of 500 employees to satisfy some pressure from shareholders. Yes a significant number, however minuscule relative to the total. Based on the many calls I received from existing and former employees, what was significant was the loss of loyalty from their employee base.

I assert when a company looses the loyalty of their employees, they loose significantly more in customer loyalty. A recent Mental Health America survey of 17,000 people, found that an astounding 71 percent of the respondents speak poorly about their Company to others. My experience has been that loyal employees are an organization’s best ambassadors. 

Of the many cases of wrongdoing that have been exposed, most had a common element; namely, the situations were open secrets for years, and in some, like Fox Media, for decades. Were people, who were in the know, being loyal in their silence? No. Most do not put their hands up for fear of retaliation. 

That fear is an understandable reality; however, it should not have to be so. There are safe ways to expose wrongdoing, which I discuss in my book, ‘From Bully to Bull’s Eye - Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire’. Is it totally risk-free? No. But when you consider that your just being a bystander may be a betrayal of loyalty to those who are suffering because of the wrongdoing. 

Perhaps even more important than putting your hand up is to reach out to those who are negatively impacted by the wrongdoing, lending an ear, asking how they are doing, giving advice and letting them know you are there for them - and then being there for them.

I can speak with some authority on this. After blowing the whistle on a corrupt CEO, I was subject to being retaliated against and suffered, over eighteen months, the most extreme forms of bullying, including receiving a death threat. Ironically, the reason I took this action was out of loyalty to the organization and the board of directors, many of who I was instrumental in placing. The board could not muster the courage to even conduct an investigation. I was taught that loyalty is a two-way street. Eventually, I was proven right, and the CEO was forced out.

There is no question that I felt betrayed. But what hurt me more was the lack of support I received from so many I believed were loyal to me. Combined with the trauma of being retaliated against, the betrayal of so many caused me to have symptoms consistent with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder  - PTSD. I was laid up for six months with a serious case of shingles; and I became a bitter person, totally immersed in negativity.

While there were many who abandoned me, a few did recognize the huge change in me and forced interventions, which I have come to recognize as the truest form of loyalty. They told me what I needed to hear, and they gave me ‘tough love’, which gave me a much needed awakening, which started a journey on reversing the negative energy into positive, focusing on helping organizations create psychologically safe, healthy, fair and productive workplaces. To those brave few, I will never forget your loyalty, and how you helped me to better understand and forgive the many others who betrayed me. These few also strengthened my courage to give the ‘tough love’ to those who are in need of it.

Since the event, I have reached out to many of the many who betrayed, to discuss what happened, in an open, honest and direct way. They needed to hear from me how disappointed I was, and I needed to better understand from them the barriers to their becoming defenders, protectors and resistors. The one thing that really resonated was my question, if the situation was reversed, what would they have expected from me? To a person, they all would have expected my support, and believed that they would have gotten it. Also to a person, they all felt ashamed for not being true to the basic ethic of reciprocity.

As a leader, to have earned the trust and respect of the people you are responsible for, and then being given that gift of loyalty should be considered your greatest achievement. You must also consider, to keep it is your greatest challenge.

Andrew Faas is a Public Voices Fellow at Yale University and the author of From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Moving Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire. 

A DIRE WARNING THAT MUST BE HEEDED

Today former President Obama invoked Nazi Germany in a warning to America. As we speak, the conservatives are predictably going nuts over former President Barack Obama’s remarks, criticizing him for comparing Trump to Hitler.

This comparison is something I have been making since Trump won the nomination. From corrupting our youth to espousing bigotry, hate and intolerance, I have warned people about this systematic and purposeful unraveling of our democracy.

All people have to do, as I recently blogged, is read Eric Larson’s book - ‘Beasts in the Garden of Evil’, and David Frum’s article in The Atlantic  ‘How to build an Autocracy’ to make the comparisons. I have discussed Trump’s white supremacist stance, and reiterate here that it is the resistors and not Trump who will make America great again.

Photo credit: Vimeo.com