THE QUESTIONABLE FEMINISTS IN OUR MIDST

A number of high profile women have recently been jumping on the #MeToo bandwagon. In most cases the actions of those they are exposing ‘for the first time’ were open secrets. So, where were these women when the abuse occurred? In most cases they were silent bystanders who did not come forward to defend or protect the abused person(s). And, as a consequence to taking that stance, they became complicit in the abuse.

One such celebrity is Katie Couric who recently broke her silence about Matt Lauer, feigning ignorance when referring to his exposure as a sexual predator. This is an astonishing admission, especially given the fact that she is going to do a television segment on sexual abuse?

The fact of the matter is that Couric has no credibility on this issue. She acknowledged that Lauer pinched her ass on numerous occasions; yet she now maintains, “I had no idea”. Only if she considers being pinched on the ass normal behaviour can she justify her claim.

I believe that for some reason she is protecting Lauer. Could it be she was the predator? I know from my own experience, women have the capacity to be predators -can also assert they can be vicious when crossed.

Another woman claiming to be a feminist, Margaret Atwood, is clueless relative to what people are going through. She would rather protect the predator than the people who have been targeted. You will recall that she was one of the first people to defend Jian Ghomesi’s defense without apparently doing any due diligence. As an award-winning author and someone who the media goes to, she shouldn’t be touting herself as any kind of a feminist other than a horrible feminist!

KNOWING RIGHT FROM WRONG SHOULD NOT BE MYSTERIOUS

In this New York Times Op-Ed, readers discuss Daphne Merkin’s view that it’s time for some perspective.  Splitting hairs between what constitutes sexual abuse and what constitutes flirting is a discussion that parents should have with their adolescent children, and not
require scrutiny in a public forum.

Similarly, in South America, Pope Francis must confront the crimes of a Chilean priest, Fernando Karadima, who was protected from punishment for decades. Now is the time to draw a line in the sand and end this abomination. How clearly can it be stated? Abuse by people in positions of authority is not OK!

In yet another industry, male fashion models and assistants described how Mario Testino and Bruce Weber, two of the most prominent photographers in fashion, used their authority to engage in unwanted sexual behavior.

It is both shocking and encouraging that so many people from so many walks of life all over the world are stepping out from behind the shadows and becoming activists. It appears that this is what it may take to teach people right from wrong and remind them of the ethic of reciprocity – The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Photo credit: thebluediamondgallery.com


TRUMP’S AVALANCHE OF DESTRUCTION IS ACCELERATING FASTER THAN I PREDICTED!

I wrote the following blog exactly one year ago and unfortunately am being proven more right than wrong.

We keep reading in the media about the utter unpredictability of Donald Trump, but I say this is nonsense. From my study of bullies and how bullying works, I know exactly what he’s going to do next. But first, let me give you some background.

Over the years I’ve become something of an expert on adult bullies—I was one early in my career until a wise supervisor set me straight, later on I sadly confess I was at times a bystander to bullying. I’ve been the victim of bullying so severe I was diagnosed with a form of PTSD, and today I’m an advocate for victims of bullying. I’ve dedicated my career to preventing and ending bullying in the workplace, which has inspired two books as well as my foundation’s current partnership with the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and our joint Emotion Revolution in the Workplace initiative.

So I can reasonably declare that I’ve learned how bullies work. They are masters of manipulation, deflection, deception, deceit and denial and no one is better at bullying than Donald Trump. Bullies are particularly dangerous when their back is against the wall and the growing agitation about Trump’s connection with Russia is going to have his back against the bricks very soon. The onus is on Congress and the Republicans to force disclosure before the inauguration because it will be easier to prevent Trump from being inaugurated than to try to impeach him afterward. My prediction is if that happens he will do everything he can to maintain his power and control.  He will abuse the power of the presidency up to and including drastic things like martial law.

We only have one week to prevent this disastrous occurrence and I’m deeply concerned. I shared that concern in December when I wrote about my 97-year-old mother who was in the Dutch Resistance in World War II and whose greatest regret was that she didn’t do more to save the victims of the Nazis. That’s why I’m urging you to do what you can and to inundate your representatives to demand full disclosure. Don’t let Trump and his people shut you down. Make your voice be heard before it’s too late. America’s future depends upon it.    

Nicholas Kristoff’s New York Times Op-Ed supports my prediction now is that Trump will hasten his agenda to dismantle what remains as checks and balances and the entire GOP will let him do it, because my bet he has something on all of them.

Photo credit: flickr.com

ARE THE DEPLORABLES MAKING THE UNITED STATES A ‘SHITHOLE’ COUNTRY?

Yesterday Trump articulated, as is divulged in this Washington Post article, why I as a Canadian decided to sell my Palm Beach seasonal home to go to another country. Quite frankly since the election, the place does not feel like home anymore. While it’s easy to blame Trump for this, from my perch here, the blame rests with his supporters and enablers who love what he is turning the United States into.

Late last year I bolted from a party here is Palm Beach because I was disgusted by the well heeled ‘deplorables’ were gloating how well their portfolios were doing. Listening to both, the silence from the GOP leadership on the ‘deplorable occupant of the White House, and the ‘deplorable’ people who try to defend the indefensible, redoubles my sense of pleasure is leaving what I believe is turning into a ‘shithole’ country. 

Photo credit: flickr.com

WHEN WILL EMPLOYEES STOP BEING THE PAWNS?

In this Globe and Mail article, Justin Giovennetti exposes a scandalous and dangerous breach of trust between employees and employers. The increase in the minimum wage in Ontario is at the center of the issue.

The parent company of Tim Horton’s, Restaurant Brands International, claims they have no control over their franchisees, which is total and absolute bullshit. It never ceases to amaze me the shortsighted stupidity of leadership. In a period of time when there is not over-abundance of people to hire, and given the economy and simple demographics, the availability of people to work will only worsen, particularly at minimum wages. To exploit these workers in retaliation for being at the lowest rung on the ladder is deplorable. This smacks of the same lack of proper consideration for all stakeholders recently experienced by Sears’ employees.

Customers are beginning to take notice and to take action to voice their opinion. It is this kind of groundswell of support by customers hitting companies where it hurts most that can bring about the change required to achieve psychologically safe workplaces.

Photo credit: Wikimedia commons

94% OF LEADERS IN CANADA DON’T KNOW WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON IN THEIR ORGANIZATIONS

This damning assertion was validated with the shocking statistic in this survey that reveals that 94% of C-Suite executives in Canada don’t believe there is a sexual harassment problem in their organizations. While the survey only deals with Canada, based on my research the numbers would not differ much if a similar survey were conducted in the United States.

This statistic makes perfect sense, as illustrated by this Harvard Business Review article by Tasha Eurich, which reveals that self-awareness is a rare quality (10%-15%); and which strongly supports the argument -if people are not self aware, how can they possibly be aware of how others feel and what is going on around them?

I have long held the belief that the biggest barrier to creating psychologically safe workplaces is the attitude of organizational leaders, as I point out in my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, notably here in this excerpt, which shows research results and anecdotal evidence of why this is so.

Since I started, many people have questioned why I accentuate the negative. My response to this is - “in this arena, there is much to be negative about”. Until such time as C-Suite executives start understanding what the f**k is going on in their organizations, I will keep marching on being negative!

Photo credit: flickr.com

HOW STUPID DOES THE GOP THINK WE ARE?

With the freshly released bombshell book by Michael Wolff, "Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House”, our attention has never been so sharply focused on the current shocking administration.

The White House and its cronies keep saying that the meeting on June 26, 2016 with a contingent of Russians was merely to talk about adoptions. This is legalese technical bullshit; and yes, they may be talking about adoptions, but that is a code word for The Magnitsky Rule of Law Accountability Act. They were using the adoptions because the Russians used adoptions as a retaliatory move against U.S. sanctions. The Russians wanted to talk about the U.S. sanctions, using this technicality to be able to claim that they did not lie. Bullies are masters of deflection. This is a deflection. And the GOP should call him out on it.

Shortly after the June 26th meeting, I wrote a blog, which discusses Bill Browder’s whose highly acclaimed book, Red Notice: A True Story of High Finance, Murder, and One Man’s Fight for Justice (Simon & Schuster; 2015) and details the corruption and murderous heart of the Putin regime.

The White House and the GOP are being totally disingenuous about this, and certainly are being intellectually dishonest with the American public; and no one is challenging them. By protecting Trump and his family, cronies and others, they are complicit in all of this. And November can’t come soon enough!

Photo credit: flickr.com

 

MASTER OF DEFLECTION, DIVERSION, DECEIT and MANIPULATION

In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, written well before the November 2016 election, I describe bullies as masters of deflection, deceit, diversion and manipulation.

The first chapter, ‘DEFINITION OF A BULLY’, is a mere one word: “Trump” - (perhaps the shortest chapter on record)’.  In the extensive research I have done on bullying in the workplace, what we are experiencing everyday with Trump is a real master of deflection, deceit, diversion and manipulation. 

This article from the New York Times by Glenn R. Simpson and Peter Fritsch is perhaps the most significant piece of information yet, which validates the diversionary tactics used by Trump and more disturbing the Republicans who have lost their souls to protect their self-interests. 

This will resonate with the many people who are targeted by bullies. They experience how their tormentors deflect, deceive, divert and manipulate so that the victim ends up becoming the villain.

Photo credit: flickr.com

A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION FOR LEADERS EVERYWHERE - Gaining the Trust of Your People

Since the Weinstein scandal broke, I have fielded many requests from organizational leaders to give them advice on how to ensure that their organizations are not exposed as the result of uncovered improper behaviours. Most are looking to double down on harassment training, which has proven to be a totally ineffective approach to tackling the issue of abuse and harassment for the same reasons that diversity and inclusion programs have failed to move the needle a notch. I assert the reason for this is that emotional intelligence is not being applied.

The concept of emotional intelligence has been around for decades and although most relate to it, leadership has not effectively applied it in their environments, largely because the perceptions are that it is soft. I assert the opposite, and that it has very hard outcomes.

The Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence and the Faas Foundation have embarked on an initiative whose mission is to help create emotionally intelligent leaders, organizations and communities through the transformations of organizational culture, emotional climates and evidence based practices.

Because of the perceptions, most of the executives reject the prerequisite requirement for my engagement, which is to conduct a culture/climate assessment to determine how emotional intelligence the organization is.

So what are the characteristics of an emotionally intelligent group? It is where:

. Unnecessary stress is minimal.

. There is freedom of expression.

. Feelings are factored into decisions.

. There is a maximum amount of transparency. (No open secrets)

. Behavioural norms are clear and understood.

. Improper behaviours and other wrongdoings are checked at the first              whiff of the problem.

. Clear value exchanges are in place.

. The human element takes precedent over technologies in leading.

. The four R’s are constantly applied - The RIGHT people, doing the RIGHT things, the RIGHT way, at the RIGHT time.

Vanessa Druskat and Stephen Wolf, in a Harvard Business Review article on group emotional intelligence, outlined the three conditions for emotional intelligence to have a positive impact - trust amongst members, a sense of group identity, and a sense of group efficacy. What should be added is that without trust amongst members, it is impossible to achieve identity and efficacy.

Based on my experience as a senior executive and consultant, extensive research conducted for my books, articles and blog posts, the number one unnecessary stress factor is the lack of trust and respect employees have in leadership and, by extension, the organizations and institutions.

Rarely a day goes by when there is not a story in the media about abuse of power, inappropriate behaviour, corruption and greed on the part of leadership in every segment of our society worldwide. Whether the sector is business, industry, education, social services, military, police, sport, media, entertainment, not-for-profit, law or religion – none are immune. While this is significant, the question of trust and respect goes far beyond the unethical and illegal.

Leadership is also assessed on whether they deliver on the commitments they make, the extent to which they support the people they are responsible for, are aware of what is really going on in their domain, and take responsibility for situations when things go south or there is a crisis.

On support - in the workplace, the ‘Mind the Workplace’ study, conducted by Mental Health America and the Faas Foundation, shows that only 36 percent of North American workers can rely on their boss for support.

On awareness - a recent C-Suite study in Canada revealed that 94 percent of executives do not believe that sexual harassment is an issue in their organizations. In most of the recent exposures, sexual harassment has been going on for years, and in some cases decades. Leaders in most of the institutions have claimed they were not aware.

On taking responsibility - Wells Fargo is perhaps the most glaring example of leadership not taking responsibility and adding to their lack of credibility, throwing 5,200 junior level employees under the bus. In reviewing the number of instances of wrongdoing, placing the blame on subordinates has been a consistent initial response. Mary Barra stands out for taking responsibility when she, shortly after inheriting the ignition switch scandal, introduced herself at a congressional hearing said, “My name is Mary Barra, and I am the chief executive officer of General Motors ... and I am deeply sorry.” 

In every relationship, there is a value exchange where there are expectations that each party has of one another. When expectations are not met and/or there is no reciprocity, trust and respect erodes. This is something that I learned fairly early in my career.

On being appointed to head National Grocers, the shared services division of Loblaw Companies Ltd., Canada’s largest retail chain, I commenced a quarterly visit to all of our distribution facilities across the country, where we had town hall meetings with every shift.

In the first of these meetings we outlined the expectations we had of the facility; and we asked for feedback on what employees expected from us to deliver on the expectations we had of them. Among the expectations were facility improvements, including cleaner washrooms, lockers and cafeteria - a pretty basic and easy one to deliver on.

A year or so into my tenure, while I was in a city where we had a facility, I thought I would drop in for a quick visit. Shortly after arriving, I went to the washroom and was appalled by the condition it was in - much different than what we saw during our quarterly visits.

Seething, I went to the plant manager’s office and politely asked him to call someone to bring a pail, Lysol, Windex, a mop, sponges and paper towels. Confused, the manager asked why, to which he got my response - “just humour me, ok?” The cleaning supplies arrived; I took off my suit jacket, rolled up my shirtsleeves, and headed to the washroom, followed by an anxious manager and the man who brought the supplies. People working on the floor all observed this, causing a bit of a buzz.

Once in the bathroom, I said to the plant manager, “I’ll start with the toilets, and you do the urinals”; and to the guy who brought the supplies, “you supervise”.  Well, both of them (excuse the pun) did not know whether to shit or go blind, but they were smart enough not to argue.

Once finished, I asked whether it was necessary to do the other washrooms on the premises, to which I received assurances that it was not. On leaving, I indicated that I would be back in a week to have a town hall meeting with all shifts.

As you can imagine, this incident was relayed to all of our facilities by nightfall, without me having to say a single word. 

At the meetings the following week, I apologized on behalf of management that we had not delivered on their expectation of us. I also expressed disappointment that they had not delivered on our expectation of them, which was to call us out on when we were failing, by saying, “We have no problem in calling you out; and for us to be able to trust each other, it’s got to be reciprocal.”

This single incident solidified a strong relationship we enjoyed for almost a decade, where we moved from being a significant laggard against industry performance benchmarks to becoming a leader.

Many people may view this as an insignificant incident; however, it sent a powerful message that trust and respect is not earned by words alone.

Through this I learned that leadership became pretty easy after earning the trust and respect of those for whom I was responsible.

For leaders everywhere I encourage you to have building trust and respect as your New Year’s resolution by factoring feelings into everything you do, first by reflecting on whether people trust you. If they do, and continue to, you will have a Happy New Year!

(Andrew Faas is the author of ‘From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire’, and is a Public Voices Fellow at Yale University)

Part 2 - WHY DO WE HAVE BOARDS? WELL IT’S CERTAINLY NOT TO PROTECT EMPLOYEES!!!!

Yesterday I posted Part 1 of this blog. In Part 2, this story by Marina Strauss in the Globe and Mail illustrates the blatant lack of both integrity and competence on the part of boards, which puts shareholder interests before all others. Many blame Lambert for this, and justly so; but the real culprit is the board of directors, who allowed him to ruin the lives of so many.

I have been invited to join a number of boards over the past few years and have turned them down because when I did my due diligence I found that either the board was merely a rubber stamp or they viewed the shareholders as the only stakeholder. Employees must be considered as equal stakeholders if an organization is to thrive.

Andrew Faas (former senior executive with the Weston/Loblaw/Shoppers Group; author of ‘From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire’,; and a Public Voices Fellow at Yale University).